Saturday, June 10, 2006
Easter Irony Category: Food and Restaurants
Easter IronyAlong the lines of 'believing one way, behaving another way' and 'what's the funniest thing about...' here's my Easter Irony.On KAOS that morning we listen to a nutritionist talking about curing common ailments by eliminating common bad diet choices. Cutting out my morning quad latte, adding lemon to water before meals, and chewing slowly could ease the aches and pains, depression, and gas I experience. It all makes sense, and it seems like a way I could transform my reality overnight! YAY!Well, Trish and I had split the morning quad, and I started to feel deprived. Craving another. I couldn't very well make myself another full quad. Could I? Certainly not DURING the program. It was like I didn't want him to hear ME. I didn't want to be so rude as to drown him out with steaming milk. [Soy milk, to be clear... which may be a culprit unto itself!] I didn't want to flaut his advice in front of Trish. She gets enough of my flaut-ulence already.When the next program came on and Trish was in the other room, I fired up that Krups like nobody's business. Maybe like Batdorf's business.Flash back a week or so ~ Trish buys a pound of coffee from the place near her office because she gets a 30% discount. I know that's gonna go quick, so we go to Costco. They've got a 3Lb bag of Fair Trade Organic for $9. That's like 66% off! We're good to go. Then I go to the Food Bank.Trish doesn't really approve of the Food Bank, so I don't tell her I'm going, and I pre-screen most of the stuff before I put it away. I make sure to get a bushel of Kale, a bushel of Broccoli, and a bunch of bakers instead of my pre-marriage M.O. of loading up on day-old cake. I also score two huge bags of coffee beans. It's maybe 4Lbs. For FREE!I guess I picked the wrong week to quit drinking coffee!Focusing on negatives just doesn't work. I don't start diets based on what I'm going to eliminate. The lemon juice thing I can do.Back to Easter though. We go to church and hear about various world traditions and Orion happens to find a plastic Easter egg in the playground that has a plastic whistle in it. There's no other kids around, so it's an even bigger magical surprise than the huge grab-fest we had planned to attend at Priest Point Park. We're never gonna make it to that one because it's lunch time and nap time on the near horizon.We go to the Farmer's market, and Orion runs around. We consider buying a blueberry bush for the yard. We feel a little too cold to eat outside, but all the vendors smell so good. We have some free salsa samples, and Trish buys some instant bean dip and salsa mix.Orion's poopy, so she changes him. Then we head off. Trish has been planning to go out to eat for weeks. Nothing I say can dissuade her. Shes craving a big salad. We need to hurry or well lose the boy. Hell doze off or get cranky before the food comes.Were heading off in a rush. She circles the block heading for Plenty! (Food and all that) but spots the Indian restaurant across the street. What do they offer 7 days a week?BUFFET! The ultimate temptation. We do not resist. It meets our need for speed. It meets our need for mostly wheat free. It meets our need for locally owned. It meets our need for exotic. It meets MY need for MEAT. It meets Trishs need for veggies.I really try to chew my food. I say, One more benefit of chewing and eating with my mouth closed is that without all that air taking up space I can fit more in! Then I tip my head back and put a piece of chapati bread half-way in. Its like a fuse!Orion is not as impressed with the dahl and rice and garbanzos as we would like, but he uses mostly good manners and eats lots of lentil chips until his eyes droop and Trish picks him up. He falls asleep in her arms in the busy restaurant. Trish has a second cup of Chai coming. I help her finish it.Its a lot like that guy was saying. He said that Americans stimulate themselves with caffeine and sugar and then sedate themselves with overeating. And repeat. Is there anything better after a huge buffet than a cup of Chai?When we arrive home we find that the Easter bunny has left another basket! Our friend, Sarah gave us some fresh eggs from the chickens at her house. Which brings me to the eggs.Its a similar scenario to the coffee, but not nearly as stimulating. Trish had bought a dozen eggs. On that same trip to the Food Bank I also returned with a dozen eggs. Then we get these fresh ones. We hadnt dyed any because Trish cant stand hard-boiled eggs, but with this huge abundance I just gotta make egg salad, so I hard-boil the dozen from the Food Bank. Orions not interested. Trish goes mental when she smells it and sees little egg bits in the sink. Ive got to eat all of it myself. A sandwich here, a dip there, a dollop in my soup.Now its Tuesday. We get our free raised bed gardens installed. Steve lends me a shovel to replace the one I broke while clearing blackberries. Then he offers to bring me a load of fresh eggs.Trish and I pick up Orion from childcare, and he promptly falls asleep. She starts talking about craving a frappucino. I offer to make her one at home. She insists on the drive-thru barrista, and adds a stamp to one of her frequent flier cards. $4. I say, Thats two days wages in Darfur. She replies, I dont live in Darfur. We split it.Tomorrow I sub at an elementary school a block away. Theyll be taking the WASL. Maybe Ill make a thermos full of lattes.For lunch? Egg salad sandwich, of course.
Easter IronyAlong the lines of 'believing one way, behaving another way' and 'what's the funniest thing about...' here's my Easter Irony.On KAOS that morning we listen to a nutritionist talking about curing common ailments by eliminating common bad diet choices. Cutting out my morning quad latte, adding lemon to water before meals, and chewing slowly could ease the aches and pains, depression, and gas I experience. It all makes sense, and it seems like a way I could transform my reality overnight! YAY!Well, Trish and I had split the morning quad, and I started to feel deprived. Craving another. I couldn't very well make myself another full quad. Could I? Certainly not DURING the program. It was like I didn't want him to hear ME. I didn't want to be so rude as to drown him out with steaming milk. [Soy milk, to be clear... which may be a culprit unto itself!] I didn't want to flaut his advice in front of Trish. She gets enough of my flaut-ulence already.When the next program came on and Trish was in the other room, I fired up that Krups like nobody's business. Maybe like Batdorf's business.Flash back a week or so ~ Trish buys a pound of coffee from the place near her office because she gets a 30% discount. I know that's gonna go quick, so we go to Costco. They've got a 3Lb bag of Fair Trade Organic for $9. That's like 66% off! We're good to go. Then I go to the Food Bank.Trish doesn't really approve of the Food Bank, so I don't tell her I'm going, and I pre-screen most of the stuff before I put it away. I make sure to get a bushel of Kale, a bushel of Broccoli, and a bunch of bakers instead of my pre-marriage M.O. of loading up on day-old cake. I also score two huge bags of coffee beans. It's maybe 4Lbs. For FREE!I guess I picked the wrong week to quit drinking coffee!Focusing on negatives just doesn't work. I don't start diets based on what I'm going to eliminate. The lemon juice thing I can do.Back to Easter though. We go to church and hear about various world traditions and Orion happens to find a plastic Easter egg in the playground that has a plastic whistle in it. There's no other kids around, so it's an even bigger magical surprise than the huge grab-fest we had planned to attend at Priest Point Park. We're never gonna make it to that one because it's lunch time and nap time on the near horizon.We go to the Farmer's market, and Orion runs around. We consider buying a blueberry bush for the yard. We feel a little too cold to eat outside, but all the vendors smell so good. We have some free salsa samples, and Trish buys some instant bean dip and salsa mix.Orion's poopy, so she changes him. Then we head off. Trish has been planning to go out to eat for weeks. Nothing I say can dissuade her. Shes craving a big salad. We need to hurry or well lose the boy. Hell doze off or get cranky before the food comes.Were heading off in a rush. She circles the block heading for Plenty! (Food and all that) but spots the Indian restaurant across the street. What do they offer 7 days a week?BUFFET! The ultimate temptation. We do not resist. It meets our need for speed. It meets our need for mostly wheat free. It meets our need for locally owned. It meets our need for exotic. It meets MY need for MEAT. It meets Trishs need for veggies.I really try to chew my food. I say, One more benefit of chewing and eating with my mouth closed is that without all that air taking up space I can fit more in! Then I tip my head back and put a piece of chapati bread half-way in. Its like a fuse!Orion is not as impressed with the dahl and rice and garbanzos as we would like, but he uses mostly good manners and eats lots of lentil chips until his eyes droop and Trish picks him up. He falls asleep in her arms in the busy restaurant. Trish has a second cup of Chai coming. I help her finish it.Its a lot like that guy was saying. He said that Americans stimulate themselves with caffeine and sugar and then sedate themselves with overeating. And repeat. Is there anything better after a huge buffet than a cup of Chai?When we arrive home we find that the Easter bunny has left another basket! Our friend, Sarah gave us some fresh eggs from the chickens at her house. Which brings me to the eggs.Its a similar scenario to the coffee, but not nearly as stimulating. Trish had bought a dozen eggs. On that same trip to the Food Bank I also returned with a dozen eggs. Then we get these fresh ones. We hadnt dyed any because Trish cant stand hard-boiled eggs, but with this huge abundance I just gotta make egg salad, so I hard-boil the dozen from the Food Bank. Orions not interested. Trish goes mental when she smells it and sees little egg bits in the sink. Ive got to eat all of it myself. A sandwich here, a dip there, a dollop in my soup.Now its Tuesday. We get our free raised bed gardens installed. Steve lends me a shovel to replace the one I broke while clearing blackberries. Then he offers to bring me a load of fresh eggs.Trish and I pick up Orion from childcare, and he promptly falls asleep. She starts talking about craving a frappucino. I offer to make her one at home. She insists on the drive-thru barrista, and adds a stamp to one of her frequent flier cards. $4. I say, Thats two days wages in Darfur. She replies, I dont live in Darfur. We split it.Tomorrow I sub at an elementary school a block away. Theyll be taking the WASL. Maybe Ill make a thermos full of lattes.For lunch? Egg salad sandwich, of course.
// posted by daddy @ 9:09 AM 
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